Do NOT Get Raped in Saudi Arabia

People don't ever plan to get raped. But if you are going to ever get raped, DO NOT do it in Saudi Arabia (more like Saudi I-Rape-Ya!). Cause if you do get sexually violated, it will likely be a crime. For you. Yes, you can go to jail for being in a situation where YOU get raped.

The Girl of Qatif — a member of the kingdom's Shiite minority — was attacked in 2006 when she met a high school friend in his car. Two men got into the vehicle and drove them to a secluded area where five others waited, and then the woman and her companion were both raped, she said. In October 2006, she was sentenced to prison and 90 lashes for being alone with a man not related to her.

Uh..... sooo.... uh..... the DUDE got raped too!??!?! AND he had to go to jail for it?!?! Motherfucker. "Sir, for your horrendous crime of being anally raped, I sentence you to jail! You shall now spend your days and nights continuing to get raped for your immoral behavior! COURT ADJOURNED!!" I am not sure if there is a worse punishment on earth available to a male rape victim. But, the wonderfully nice King of Saudi I-Rape-Ya actually pardoned the woman. Wow... I guess you can get away with anything these days in Saudi I-Rape-Ya. They can't even keep rape victims in jail anymore. What is this world coming to?

DRATS! NOT MY MAGIC LEG!!!

India's awesomeness is surpassed only by their awesomeness. We are well aware of their love for dogs. What I did not know was their affinity for magical appendages.

Two men attacked an 80-year-old, self-proclaimed holy man in southern India and chopped off his right leg, apparently believing it had magical powers, police said Thursday. Yanadi Kondaiah, who claimed that those who touched his leg would be cured of illness or have wishes granted, was hospitalized in serious condition after the attack Tuesday.

This dude must have been sweet. Well, he was a pretty cool dude when he had his magical leg. Now he is just an 80 year old geezer with only one leg. Not even a magical one at that. But how could these men simply chop off the magic leg without the 80 year old dude noticing?

Kondaiah told police that two men offered him a drink as thanks for previously helping them with his magical touch. After he passed out drunk, the men chopped off the leg below the knee with a sickle and left him to die.

Uh... there are probably not too many ways to wake up worse than waking up with one less leg than you fell asleep with. ESPECIALLY if that leg was magic and healed people of their diseases and granted wishes. "FUCK!!! MY MAGIC LEG!!!! Has anyone seen a magical leg!! I know I had it when I fell asleep!"

I am not well versed in the powers of magical appendages, but I am going to go out on a limb and say they are not too common. So when you do have one you better keep good care of it. And by keep good care of it I mean not letting people chop it off in your sleep.

Well hopefully the men who stole it will continue to put the leg to good use. Do magic legs keep their power even after they are severed from their original owner? Would anyone with a magical appendage with the power to heal and grant wishes please let me know. I want to look into getting magical power installed in my penis. But only have the magic cure hot women. Naturally.

Really? This is surprising???

George Mitchell's "shocking" report on steroids in baseball came out today. Some of the "surprising names" on the list include Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada, and Andy Pettitte. I honestly don't know how any rational person can be shocked AT ALL that some of the best players in the league have taken some sort of steroid. I find it hard to believe that people can be so naive. I can believe that people don't WANT to believe it- they don't WANT to know that some of their favorite players have "cheated" the game. With the amount of money to be made in sports, I am shocked when players HAVEN'T done some sort of performance enhancing drug.

Let's see- I am making $2 million a year as the player I am now and my contract is up this season. I can do a few cycles of HGH, stay healthier thruout the season, and then sign a new $9 million dollar a year contract. It's a no brainer. I would think it would be even tougher for a young player stuck in the minor leagues to stay away from some sort of performance boost. Make $40k a year in the minors, or millions in the majors- you just have to hit 20 more home runs and bat 40 points higher. Again, no brainer at all.

Baseball turned a blind eye to the problem since fans love seeing players hit a million home runs and throw the ball 4,000 miles an hour. What WOULD surprise me is if I found out that the majority of players in baseball haven't at least tried a performance enhancing drug at some point in their career.

Roger Clemens is a 45 year old pitcher who still throws in the high 90s. The fact that ANYBODY is shocked that he took (or continues to take) steroids is what shocks ME. I love watching players continue to get bigger, stronger, faster, better. I honestly don't care that much if steroids were involved. Either test the shit out of the players and make sure EVERYONE is totally clean, or let them do some juice and hit the ball 600 feet.

Facemelting Cats

You see that shit?!? Yea. It's a fucking GLOWING CAT!!! Finally, a cat I might consider buying.

South Korean scientists have cloned cats by manipulating a fluorescent protein gene, a procedure which could help develop treatments for human genetic diseases, officials said Wednesday. In a side-effect, the cloned cats glow in the dark when exposed to ultraviolet beams.

Side effect?? More like an awesome effect. That shit is insane! That would be amazing to have a glowing animal cruising around my place. Pretty cool nightlight too. Actually the coolest nightlight ever.

The technology can also help clone endangered animals like tigers, leopards and wildcats.

AWESOME! I want to see every animal glow. How sweet would the zoo be at night if all of the animals were glowing! "Oh, look honey, A GLOWING BEAR! Let's not forget to stop by to see the glowing tigers and the glowing monkeys."