Apparently the Chinese think "Olympics" means "Athletic Torture"

I honestly have no clue what China thinks "Olympics" means, or what sort of events they think take place during the Olympic Games. But obviously they think that training for these events starts when you are about 8 and involve practice that not even an adult would do. So, with the 2008 Olympics coming up in Beijing, China is getting "prepared." How, you ask? Well, by having their children to totally awesome, fun athletic things that all kids do.

Zhang Huimin spent the summer running 40 miles a day from her home on the southern island province of Hainan to Beijing in northern China, her father trailing behind her on an electric bicycle.

40 miles. A day. 8 years old. I have not ran 40 miles in a month TOTAL in my entire life. What the hell is a little 8 year old doing running 40 miles a day!!?! Oh, and you thought that normal swimming was exercise enough, well think again you pussy.

Last month, a father in southern China tied his 10-year-old daughter Huang Li's hands and feet and watched her swim in a chilly river for three hours.

What? Your father never bound your hands and feet when you were 10 and watched you swim in a river? Am I the crazy one here? Seems pretty normal to me. And the reason these parents are letting their kids have so much fun?

Both men said they were helping their daughters achieve their dreams — one of running in the Olympics, the other of swimming across the English Channel.

Because we all know what the most prestigious event in the Olympics is: The 40 mile run. And for my money, nothing beats swimming the English Channel. Now I am not sure if having your hands and feet bound will make you a better swimmer, but I can't imagine why not! Best of luck to these kids who obviously have bright and enjoyable futures to look forward to. Futures that will likely include 100 mile days running and 50 mile swims. Oh, if only I could be born again as a child in China.... Sigh...