Lesson of the Day

Today's life lesson: How to stick it to those annoying airport security guards. With all these crazy rules in place, how can you possibly keep track of what you can and can't bring on a plane? Bathroom supplies? Of course you can bring them on. IF they are in a container of 3.4 ounces or less. Because as everyone knows, nothing is easier on earth to make than a liquid bomb. But the catch is you need at least 3.5 ounces of liquid. You could never do anything with 10 bottles of 3.4 oz explosives. Water bottles? No way, Jose. They could be used as explosives! So no liquid beverages past security. Unless you can stay hydrated on 3.4 ounces, of course. So when you get to the security line, and you are carrying 8 lbs of bathroom supplies, 9 Gatorades, 4 red bulls and 3 gallons of water, Security will ask you to throw all of your precious liquids in the trash. Well you can either obey their request, or do what possibly the smartest man alive did.

This dude (we will call him Vodka McAwesome) had 2 pints of vodka in his bag. Security asked Mr. McAwesome to either throw it away or pay extra money to have his bag checked. He kindly denied either option, and instead drank BOTH LITERS OF VODKA. Oh, and then he almost died. Oh, and he is 64.

A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing two pints of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new rules about carrying liquids aboard a plane, police said Wednesday. Instead, he chugged the vodka — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.

So there is your daily life lesson. Straight from Vodka McAwesome, a 64 year old man in Germany. If you don't want to throw out your (insert beverage more than 3.4 ounces of your choice), just drink it all. And drink it really, really fast. Thank you, Mr. McAwesome